Two Bob Tourist

 Made it to Armagh in the North.. Apart from the lovely hostess who is so like like my Granny with a sweet Irish accent. Air bnb turns up some gooduns. So I walked the town to my amusement they still have tractors up and down the main street carrying hay and stock and what all. So I was in a bar and asked the chap what's the town like..."a shit hole" he replied but what followed his sad comment really made me smile because up the street outside was a trail of cow manure from a passing stock truck. Armagh is like small town everywhere. Mainly coffee shops and hairdressers. The small farm support industry left when the motorways came and the towns are shrinking by the day. We have a day of reckoning coming for sure. The people are going to rebel against big brother demanding more rules on how we live and more money for nothing.. I spoke with the caretaker at the local Cathedral. He told me they couldn't allow the organ to be played outside church services without ...

I have loved my ferry rides. About 6 in as many days. First to and from Orkney, and then to Lewis and Harris which are one, and then from to Lewis (not Harris) to North Uist, no ferry needed to South Uist, but needed one to Barra, and then after a most distinctly ‘Wild camper” night in Castlebay an other ferry to Oban on the mainland, but the two more open deck ferries in wet and windy conditions to rejoin the mainland on my way to Troon. That was interesting. Wild camping is a Scottish tradition. Camp on public land as long as it is not inconsiderate. So I did my bit for wild camping on Barra. As I explained there is a shortage of beds so I resorted as any “wild” camper would to sleep in a garage. It was the only one I could find and it was empty. Talk about a stroke of luck. I stepped out in the rain in the morning to see the ferry was checking in passengers so on the bike, ride out of the garage and almost straight on to the ferry. Sometimes bad luck is not that bad. Since ...

I have to confess I was improperly excited. Maybe just over expectation but after a gentle visit to Orkney maybe I was lulled into a false sense of expectation. The place was barren and un-inviting. So were the locals. The visitors were great. Warm friendly and great company but all from Europe. None from Britain until today. Fresh out of Glasgow for the Bank Holiday...bugger ! The locals were on the other hand a bit like wild animals that had been tamed by hand feeding by tourists. Cold greedy rude and unwelcoming unless there was money in the hand like bread for seagulls. They get upset if not fed. They react if not understood with accusation like “don’t you speak English”  ! I hope I am wrong and I will expand on this view after I have left which cannot come soon enough after I shelter from the approaching storm in a bush shelter. There are 100 people waiting for the ferry tomorrow and 100 that just got off tonight and there are 100 beds. Work it out. That timetable must h...

It’s all about the experience. On the notes available to guests was a reference to a Ceilidh. I was of course overjoyed. The local community have the joy of being able to hear local musicians play twice a month at the local hall. Whoever turns up to play does and whoever turns up to listen does also. For a pound they also offer a cup of tea and a biscuit. The musicians range in ages, one of 14 two of forty and the rest average 65 I would guess. The music was sometimes a little less accomplished than others but the joy the spirit and the pure pleasure of the players and the listeners was a lesson in what life is really about to me! Wish you could have been there. I am delighted I was. I tried to think of another musical experience of a similar nature, home grown and the nearest I could recall was a country singer in a Pub in a small fishing villiage on the coast of Norway. That was a community experience as well. The Mayor and the Headmaster were both kicked out into the street a...

At last. I take a bit of pride in my unusual places rides but this is a bonus as I had expected not to bring the bike. In the end I rode up from Inverness though the coastal route to John O Groats and then on to the ferry terminal. I had been wised up about the locals ferry faster and cheaper so when I rounded the headland and saw a ferry I was surprised by its size.  So I trickled up to the man on duty, we are full for this sailing but....there is only one van ahead so buy a ticket and get on the wait list.  So I did, and while I was waiting booked a room in case as beds are impossible up here in the summer, all over Scotland. As luck would have it I consumed my ‘supper’ from Tesco made a couple of new friends landed in Orkney and found the hotel all in the blink of an eye.. The Norse gods were smiling. So I visited standing stone rings, an ecological dig uncovering a 5000 year ago civilisation that eat cattle shin bones (talk about waste not want not)..... History teac...

Here is my Two Bobs worth.  Churches have massive sums invested in property but on top of that more, lots more in Organs ! I have been to dozens of Churches and more particularly Cathedrals and do you EVER hear anyone playing an organ ? We know the answer.  What are they thinking ? I know what I woud be doing if I were in charge of even one of them.  Organ music every Sunday !  Pick your time as services are all round the day but if you knew at every church every Sunday at 3pm the organ would play, what would you do  ? I would go along and listen.  Start with a charge of $5 or £2.50 and give the Organist half the gate.  I despair at the lack of organ music in these silent cathedrals of lost opportunity. 

Spent a few days after my splendid two days in Paris in the great mixing pot London. So I met with a friend from Canada well of course I did. Then to collect NZL07. Needed some familiarisation a couple of nights camping and dinner at one of the innumerable Red Lion pubs. I came to travel. And on official day one rode to Maldon. Why you may ask well the Vikings came and sadly slew Mr Maldon but a1000 years ago they built a Church and the little seaside town is a joy. A thousand years ago they were building churches and NZ grew trees and wild animals roam. What NZ is was built in under 200 years. Astonishing really. So I walked the Main St and ate jellied eel. Fantastic. The estuary on which the town is built and the means by which the Vikings invaded contains a pleasant seaside community. Boat club and water activities. How could I not have been here before. Still to see a “tourist”. So it is a joy to be here off the beaten track amongst real Poms which I say with affection ...

Wonderful song by Guy Clark. The other is not so good. So here I was sitting in a Tavern in Paris. For those that know one of the hardest things to find in Paris is a Pee. The sort that is normally free. So my answer is to find a McDonald’s and they are full so there it was the Tavern in Montmartre. Too good to be true.  Not many taverns, where one can sit at a bar,  mostly restaurants where people sit at tables.  There is a local across the road from the dump I am staying in. A Hotel that was going broke so disguises itself as a home on Air BnB. Still a dump. So I had a beer in the Montmarte Tavern and a during a visit downstairs I noticed the cabinet. A few years ago in Central America with a couple of pretty decent blokes despite their being from the US, we all went to dinner in the town square. Right by the church, we were upstairs so felt almost part of it. The old building the plane trees and the uplights very moody on a warm night in good company. Guitars p...

I have an idea when I will be back but who can be sure. I did wake up on time. In fact early but managed to steal an extra hour. Packing was done last night so wash dress and head for the Uber driver. Julie was interesting. A golfer with a bit of vision. Her golf flags are now on half the courses in NZ after seeing the majority of flags were previously imported.  I like that sort of attitude. But that was after I went through the usual mind games......what am I doing ? What am a spending all this time and money for, and while once I put the back pack on that contained just enough to get me half way round the world but still a lot, I knew. The thrill of the unknown the challenge of being outside the comfortable familiarity, sitting feeling the mind stultify...not for me. The thrill was short lived however, being confronted by airport security to get into one large shopping centre of flashy junk brings anyone back to reality with a resounding crash.  What a stark reminder ...

I have been pestered which may sound unkind to write a book, as if anyone would read it ! So I haven’t. But I have done a bit and seen a lot more so when the jockeying for the bed by the window gets nearer I may have something that I wrote to help remember it was not too bad a journey really. Why two bob. Easy. My Fathet reckoned I would not amount to anything, not worth two bob, I fondly recall. So with aspirations of that magnitude how could I fail? The family sure helped because when the estate got “fairly” divided I just happened to be in the toilet at the time. So I seldom visit my fathers sons in their splendid halls. Sort of afraid that they will ask if they can borrow two bob, like they need it ! That topic will not be mentioned again. So I have done some work. Managed to retain some of what I made between friends clients the Governments agents who combined turned out rather badly. My misadventures with financiers cheats thieves and liars abound. Now that is a book but I...